Infrequent Updates

I must admit that blogging is a come and go proposition for me. Some weeks/months, I have tons of stuff to write about, and others, well, I just don’t have much to say. And I guess that’s how things are right now. So, considering that I don’t have anything deep to write about, I’m going to go with some quick hits:
1) I played in my very first organized football game tonight. I caught one pass for about 5 yards, I missed another pass (it was a bit long), and mistook a couple flags for a handful or air. Overall, a great game (we won, by the way), but I need to practice a bit…
2) I’ve decided that I don’t like small talk. I’m not interested in having a half-hearted conversation with someone. Exchanging brief pleasantries is about as far as I want to go…after that, let’s talk about something worthwhile or I’m out.
3) End of night conversations are likewise awkward. People usually stand around in groups waiting for something. Of course, that “thing” always escapes me. Do they want to go do something else? Well, say so. If not, then what’s the purpose of standing there with unexpected moments of silence and conversation?
4) I’ve realized that my tendency in work (and life) is to work really really hard, then coast. I noticed this as I biked over the past year, and I have come to realize that is my style with life. At work today, I had 5 things I had to finish by 5:30pm. I had two hours to complete them (seeing as though I started at 3:30). I jumped into the work, booked it, and finished up at 5:15pm. At this point, I was tired and ready for a break. The same goes for this weekend, I’ve been working/doing stuff constantly for a few weeks, and now I’m ready for some time off.
5) This is the year of the hospital. In the past week, I’ve added another two to the list who are undergoing serious illnesses. And for the record, this group includes people to the second degree (friend’s friend). You always think this sort of thing happens to everyone else, and I suppose to a certain extent it still is. Sometimes I wonder how long it will be until it creeps in closer.
To those who read this diatribe…well, this is my life right now. Cheers to a long weekend.

When Is It Gossip?

Are all conversations about other people gossip?
Are all of those conversations bad?
Tonight, I started to consider whether or not you could discuss someone without it being “gossip.” Is it even possible? I have reconsidered a number of situations that I’ve been in, and it seems to me that gossip isn’t a natural outflow of a conversation about somone.
How do I determine this? I ask a few questions:
1) Are you mocking the person?
2) Are you building yourself up at their expense?
3) Are you trying to figure out how to deal with someone?
4) Are you working to discern how to help a person?
I had fallen into this nasty trap of thinking that it was wrong to “talk” about someone behind their back. And I would agree if your conversation falls within the first two points above. But life is filled with conversations and connections with people, and what better way to deal with other people than to address the subject with friends. The key is for everyone to realize that the point of the conversation is mutual edification.
And if that’s the case, talk away.

10% More Free

I opened my freezer this evening and grabbed a bag of chicken nuggets. I pulled some out to heat in the oven when I noticed an interesting label on the front of the package: “10% More Free.”
I sat and stared at this interesting sight. “Wow, Tyson is so generous. They have decided to fill an average package of chicken nuggets with 32 ounces, but out of their generosity, they are giving me 35.2 ounces. What a deal.”
How puerile do they think the consumer is? How can you arbitrarily set a standard just to make yourself look better? It’s absurd and offensive. Tell me what the package contains, not how wonderful you are.
And then I thought, “Dang, we all do that.” We arbitrarily set low standards in our lives and beat them, all the while proclaiming how great we are for beating this standard. No one would say a man is good because he doesn’t beat his wife 95% of the time. Only saying one mean thing a day doesn’t equate to being good.
Why should we expect to be “good” because we are better than some low expectation? Having 10% more free doesn’t mean the package is better. It just means you’re trying to inflate your goodness.
A standard exists, so why waste our time with labels and definitions of personal goodness? Why try to place yourself in a position where you “seem” better than you are. Measured up to that standard, you fail so miserably, and in the process, you have only wasted your time trying to make yourself seem better.

Tailgating Home from Church

On my way home from church today, I was followed by a Ford Taurus… Normally I wouldn’t notice this, but I looked back and saw that she was gesturing me to drive faster. The speed limit was thirty and there were a row of cars stopped in front of me, so I motored on at my pace. At this, the woman behind me started to pull into the opposite lane of traffic to pass me. Humm. We both got to the light at the same time… Oh yea, and we stopped at the next light together. And then she took off.
I just wonder how you can drive like that after getting out of church. And I wonder how you can drive like that when you’re following someone out of church. I guess I just don’t get it…

Exploitation

I’ve begun to realize over the past few weeks that modern American society is built upon the exploitation. Here’s why:
As I was driving to Fort Worth a few weeks ago, I passed a number of billboards for the Texas Lottery. Of course, lottery billboards are nothing new, but instead of proclaiming this weeks’ grand total or mentioning how much money you could win by scratching off some metal from a piece of paper, it announced that the Lottery had pumped over nine billion dollars into Texas education projects. I passed it, and thought, “That’s nice…the Lottery has paid $9 billion to help kids learn to read and write.” But then I thought, “What an odd way to advertise a lottery.”
In reality, what the billboard said was this: “The Texas Lottery is a funnel organization, taking your money and pumping it into schools, while cleverly giving a small percentage back to those who paying for the program.” Some genius figured out that they could snooker a large group of people into paying a voluntary tax with a small percentage of getting rich. If you think about it, it’s a genuinely brilliant plan. Except that it exploits mainly poor people who are looking for a way to get rich quick.
If you consider the stories associated with the Lottery, it seems like a mixed bag. I mean, every time someone wins $200 million plus, they make the evening news with a larger-than-life check and a huge grin on their face. It seems like all smiles. But the statistics tell a different story: most of the people who win the lottery go broke or lose their friends. They go broke because they don’t know how to deal with the money. Or they lose their friends because they were too generous. Or maybe they weren’t generous enough. Other families are torn apart and some lose their lives because of foolish choices. Did the Lottery unilaterally cause these events? Probably not, but if you want to look at an interesting chain of events beginning at one point, then you could peg it on the Lottery. And in spite of the wonderful thoughts of millions of dollars, it just hasn’t been a helpful for those who have played and those who have won.
So what is the lottery then? It’s a state-sponsored exploitation of poor or ignorant people who dream to get rich. This means that our very government is in the business of exploitation.
The old adage goes, “Misery loves company,” and I say that miserable actions also love company. And by no means is the government unique in their targeted exploitation of people.
Every day I stop by my mailbox on my way home from work, and every day I walk away with another set of envelopes, addressed to everyone from Andrew to Russell, to medical and to Mrs. Smithson. And who are these envelopes from? American Express, Capital One, Chase, MBNA (now Bank of America) and more. I receive an average of 12 credit card solicitations on a weekly basis.
I usually wonder how they can afford to constantly send the same invitations over and over and over. I mean, how can this be cost affective? But then again, I assume that the world is like me, and judging by the sheer volume of credit card crap, the world does not operate in the same manner as I do. The constant salvo of advertisements tells me that they are successful in generating revenue. So how do credit card companies make money?
Every time you use your credit card, Visa / Mastercard / Amex gets a percentage of the sale plus a small transaction fee. This amount is split up between the said company and the issuing company, in many cases, the companies listed in the paragraph above. In effect, if I spend $1,000, the financial institutions pocket $20-$30, depending on various factors. Some credit cards offer things like Cash Back or a Reward Program, usually about 1% of your purchases. This is a further incentive: “Hey, you’re already spending a bunch of money, so you might as well get 1% back!!!!” It seems like a generous move, doesn’t it?
But how do these companies actually make their money? I’m sure we’ve all watched Dateline and seen the stories of people who have thousands of dollars of credit card debt, stuck in an eddy of 15%-20% interest rates, and minimum payments that will move them out of debt in only 30 years. And all the while, they pay back their actual debt over and over because of this exorbitant and exploitative policy.
And who do credit card companies target? Everyone, really, starting with college students who dream of nice things but haven’t yet developed the means to pay for this. So you convince a bunch of poor students to buy a bunch of stuff, put it on the credit card, and worry about it later. It’s genius. You’ve just created a market for yourself for the next 30+ years. You build a little debt, and when you really need something, you have to use your credit card because that’s the only option.
It’s not the credit card industry’s fault that people are foolish and can easily be connived into doing dumb things, but I do question the validity of an industry that is totally based on exploiting people who obviously lack the faculties to make good decisions.
Where is the collective societal moral outrage over these two things?
Of course, these aren’t the only ways that business and government exploits people… I can think of several more offhand: sports ticket prices and apparel, fashion magazines, movies, television, among many others.
So why did I write this epic? As I looked around, I was sickened at this repeated and obvious misuse of people, and I wondered, “Does anyone else see this?” And I guess more importantly, I wonder, “Does anyone else care?”

Facebook’s Big Blunder

In one day, Facebook’s valuation has likely dropped 50%. Why, you ask? Because they created features which undermine the whole culture of Facebook.
Facebook unveiled a few huge new features yesterday morning called the “News Feed” and “Mini Feed,” both of which are designed to help you keep track of the changes in your friend’s lives. The idea is great…but I think that the Software Engineers let their enthusiasm get in the way of the reality of the user’s needs.
I broached the subject last week when I described the odd phenomenon called Myspace. And I wondered why people loved a product that betrayed so much privacy. And as the Facebook saga unfolds, I am beginning to understand how the world views privacy.
Facebook was great because you could logon anonymously, check out your friends changes and check up on their lives. And likewise, you could update your profile and your friends could see the details, but none of the specifics…like, the date and time of each change to your profile. So instead of someone just updating their profile, the world now knows that they have updated the profile six times in the past two days, or that, in my case, the last 10 notes that I have sent have all been birthday greetings.
Before, the information was out there, but no one would have actually done the research to discover that.
The revolt is large and growing, and I wonder how long it will be before Facebook rolls back the changes. Michael Arrington at Techcrunch thinks the new features are good, but I don’t think he understands the mindset behind Facebook users. Whenever your users are openly saying that a product is becoming a stalking tool, you have a huge problem.
Other sites have noted the revolt, and a new site is calling for a boycott of Facebook for a day. If Facebook doesn’t act quickly, the site will die a quick and painful death…

Posted in Web

An Ode to Friends

I noticed one of the most interesting and unsuspected sights as I left work today. I noticed that someone’s continual and interesting bad habit had been washed away. Gone in a a heartbeat.
Of course, I wouldn’t have noticed this had I not been aware of the story behind the scenes…the story of what happened. I won’t bore you with the details, but I knew a friend had talked to said person and gently moved them in the right direction. Not pushy…not inconsiderate. But genuine in the discourse and genuine in trying to help their friend.
And it made me realize how important friends are.
I wonder where I would be today without the friends in my life. I specifically wonder where I’d be if I didn’t become friends with a savvy and culturally well versed friend in high school. I wouldn’t be living in Houston if it weren’t for friends. And I certainly wouldn’t being enjoy life if I didn’t have my friends.
Like family, it seems we overlook and not realize the role of these people in our lives. It’s so easy to take these things for granted. To not be thankful for the people that make the days enjoyable. To not be thankful for great coworkers. To not appreciate the little things like, “Dude, you’ve got food in your teeth.” or “Check your fly, bro.”
And for all these great things, I say cheers…I say be grateful for the friends around you.