I find myself constantly battling apathy–a laziness that seems to be deeply inbred into my very being. And the laziness I speak of tonight isn’t related to work; it’s not related to studying or learning; it’s related to relationships.
One thing that constantly amazes me about life is how so many of my conversations revolve around the thoughts that cycle through my head. And the conversations I speak of aren’t necessarily started by me–so it’s not like I’m driving conversations based on what I’m thinking, although that happens as well.
Rule one about life: People are difficult.
We’re rotten, disgusting, arrogating, selfish, uncaring people, by default. This, however, is a discussion for another day…
Rule two about life: It is difficult to deal with people.
There are people who constantly grate on your nerves. There are people who you just don’t get along with. There are people that you wonder why you hang out with them, why you live with them, etc… And for me, dealing with them is a terrible proposition, but a proposition that fills every day of life.
My tendency is to work really hard…to put all my effort into these sort of relationships because effort equals results, right? It’s wishful thinking because effort and results don’t always correlate perfectly. Sometimes your best efforts don’t work out.
And for me, as soon as I realize that my best efforts amounted to nothing, I quit. I wash my hands of the affair and say “you’re not worth it.” I can think of at least three specific times I have done this–and it’s likely more.
I said, sure, I’ve done my job…look at Romans 12 for yourself:

Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY,” says the Lord. “BUT IF YOUR ENEMY IS HUNGRY, FEED HIM, AND IF HE IS THIRSTY, GIVE HIM A DRINK; FOR IN SO DOING YOU WILL HEAP BURNING COALS ON HIS HEAD.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

And so I said, “I tried. It just didn’t work out.” But I didn’t really try, because I relied only on myself. My mindset should be (Matthew 18):

Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”
Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.”

So what’s the point here? I guess that we give up far too easily in our quest to do good. We try and fail, but instead of realizing that the fault lies in our own efforts, we move on to other things and forget about our call to turn the other cheek and try again.