I listen to a lot of music, and I’ve heard a lot of dumb lyrics. (I’m sure you’ve experienced this too…) Here’s a very abbreviated list of songs w/ dumb lyrics
1) “We Rock in Stilettos” -Unknown. It is repeated ad infinitum in a screaming / rap style. Terrible.
2) “Good is good and bad is bad.” -Cheryl Crow. She should take the Caption Obvious award for the month!
3) “Roses smell like poo-poo” -Outkast. I think this is funny, but it’s still dumb.
4) “Put on my airrrrr furce ones…” -Unkown. Stupid song about stupid shoes. Dumb!
5) “Bi***** ain’t s***” -Dr. Dre. Don’t ask me how I’ve heard this song. I don’t know how, but I recently heard it again. It’s dumb, it’s stupid, it doesn’t make sense. And it’s sad how it talks about women.
6) “Milk and cereal. Cereal and milk.” -Unknown. Really funny. Really stupid. Sorta entertaining, but straight up dumb!
7) “The thong song” -Unknown. Once again, don’t ask me where I heard this because I don’t know. Any song that yodels “thong” deserves to be in the dumb category!
Monthly Archives: November 2005
Are You Serious?
Thurday at 9:00am
The Thanksgiving ads arrive (and I wake up). I immediately start learning of new things to buy. Of note, I see the the $3.99 movies at Circuit City and the 2 gb compact flash card at CompUSA. I think, “This could save me a bunch of money.”
Thursday at 9:14am
Complain about the absurdity of Black Friday shopping. Wonder how long it will be until stores open at Midnight (instead of 5:00am) and mention that is a dumb idea.
Thursday at 2:00pm
Eat Thanksgiving Dinner. Forget about shopping. Think about eating!
Thursday at 3:14pm
Start watching the Cowboys game. Commence wishful thinking.
Thursday at 6:13pm
Stop watching the Cowboys game. End wishful thinking and start hating football.
Thursday at 11:18pm
Peruse the ads once again to double-check the deals. I notice that CompUSA opens at Midnight. That’s only 42 minutes away. “Hmmm, maybe I should go tonight,” I thought, “it could save me $100.”
Friday at 12:01am
Leave for CompUSA. “Surely the crowds won’t be bad at this time of night!” Commence wishful thinking again.
Friday at 12:08am
Enter CompUSA after walking from the farthest parking spot in the lot. Start wondering, “What am I doing here.”
12:10am
Push and shove to the front of the line. Start the battle to gain the attention of the 4 porr workers at the digital camera desk.
12:12am
Send my mom to get in the check-out line.
12:21am
Snag the attention of the weary employee and grab my 2gb compact flash line. Start searching for my mom.
12:22a and forward
Start making friends with my fellow line-mates. It could be a while before we snake our way to the check-out counter.
12:45am
Watch a group full of youth with a full basket barter the cost with the checker. Continue watching as they pay with one dollar bills for hundreds of dollars of merchandise.
12:56am
Move forward in line because of the nice people in front of me: “You only have one item, you can go first…”
12:59am
Finish checking out and return to the car.
Overall…one hour. Lots of people. And over one-hundred dollars in savings. But never again…
Middle Management
You know you’re destined to be a Middle Manager if you:
1) Believe that long meetings are the best way to communicate everything.
2) Believe that no meeting is complete without repeating the information three times.
3) Believe that being at work for 8 hours a day is more important than getting your work done.
4) Believe that a problem with one person should be dealt with by sending an email to the entire company.
5) Believe additional reports and procedures are necessary for work to be successful.
Thankful
Five completey trivial things to be thankful for!
1) Seinfeld
Is there any better comedy in the history of television? I think not. And with Seasons 5 and 6 now out, I can waste more hours watching it!
2) Wing Stop / Buffalo Wild Wings
When you need to eat something entirely bad for you, these are two places to go! 100% grease and fat and badness = a fantastic dining experience.
3) Facebook / Instant Messenge
Need to procrastinate? Then hop on Facebook or IM and spend a little while. See what’s up with you’re friend’s lives, and maybe talk to them for a bit. And you’re doing something productive while you procrastinate!
4) Lunch
I love lunch. How about you? That brief hour in the middle of the day when you get to relax and eat something tasty. Yumm yumm yumm!
5) DVR
Record TV and watch it later. This device has single-handedly doubled my television consumption. Sure, it’s a waste of time, but I like it.
What are your five most trivial things to be thankful for?
Thanksgiving
Well, I’m back in Dallas (North Richland Hills) for Thanksgiving. Traffic today was less than fantastic…and as you all know, I despise traffic. Especially when traffic is made worse by stupid drivers.
Other news: not much. Life is good, and I’m looking forward to taking a break from work for a few days. I also get to hang out with the family and eat a lot of food.
So … cheers to you all and have a wonderful Thanksgiving. On a more serious note–think about how good you have it…and if you don’t think your life is good read this or this.
Ford and Innovation
Has anyone seen the new Ford commercials–you know the one where Bill Ford, Jr. is trumpeting Ford’s storied history as an innovative company. Every time I see it, I laugh.
1) Ford was an innovative company. The Model T, the assembly line, Mustangs, Firebirds, and the venerable F150 pickup–all good products/concepts at one point or another.
2) Ford is not an innovative company now.
Whenever a company has to resort to marketing to redefine itself, it is almost certain that there are many more internal problems. Hyundai hasn’t billed itself as the “New Japanese Car Company” (even though they’re Korean) but what they have done is upped their warranty period and have started producing better cars. And people noticed. Their sales are up.
Meanwhile, Ford continues to mire in mediocracy, using a flashy campaign to deceive the public and pronounce that they are an “innovative company” once again. I hope people aren’t that stupid to buy their ads.
Like I wrote earlier in Mission Statements, who you are defines what you do. And if Ford was innovative, you could see it in every product they sell.
Appendages
Hunger. It’s late and you feel like eating some ice cream. Except you don’t have any at your apartment.
Leave. Hop on your bike and start riding to Walmart to pick up some Blue Bell. Mmmm. Homemade Vanilla and strawberries.
Crash. The car that ran the red-light and broadsided you. And your bike. And now you’re tangled up with a street sign.
Crushed. Your foot. Your chest. You dreams?
So that’s what happened to DJ Jackson in Bryan, Texas on Friday, November 18th. Everything, except his dreams were crushed. Luckily he had a helmet on, and he survived the accident. But his lower right leg was amputated.
All things considered, he is doing well. He’s groggy from the morphine, but he looks okay. And what does he have to take from this accident: a broken arm, broken ribs, internal trauma, and a missing leg.
But still no ice cream with strawberries.
Hmm.
Ben Folds Concert
Last night was the Ben Folds concert.
It was amazing. 2+ hours of incredible music. And watching him play the piano reminded me of a hummingbird flap it’s wings. You just have no idea how they move so quickly.
Anyways–one of the best concerts I’ve ever been to.
An Ode to Fall
I love fall.
I love the crisp, clean, cool air. It satisfies your body as a quaff of water would when you’re parched.
I love the trees. The colors. The leaves. I love to see them come alive from the gusts of wind…springing back and forth, waving their branches across the sky.
I love the silence….Walking across a parking lot with only the sound of your shoes tapping against the ground and the mellow cadence of your lungs savoring the air.
I love seeing the stars…or at least two of them. Watching the moon saunter across the evening sky, retreating to appear yet again some other day.
I love the cool apartment and frigid sheets–sheets that are waiting to be warmed by a dreamer lost in some other world. The warmth provided by a comforter draped across your body, with your nose playing periscope for a time.
And waking up to see a beautiful blue sky, with the sun’s radience emanating through a bank of trees. The hazy fog and the light that melts it away.
And mainly, that crisp clean air that refreshes the body and livens the mind and stirs the soul.
Nearsighted
The Philadelphia Eagles traded short term “success” for long-term failure. They did this when they brought in Terrell Owens.
Sure, people change; sure, people can turn their lives around and become a team player. But when he refused to go to Baltimore after he was traded, you had to see that something was awry.
He begged to go to Philadelphia. They happened to need an extremely talented receiver to complete their “Super Bowl Puzzle.” They signed him; puzzle finished. They sailed through the regular season, losing Owens to an injury late in the season. He made it back just in time to experience his first Superbowl loss. And he was still all about himself.
The offseason arrives and Owens continues to rant on his amazing-ness. The need for a raise. How important HE is. He makes more catches. He runs his mouth some more.
The Eagles sink (not only because of him, but partially). Terrell keeps talking about Terrell.
The Eagles cut Owens. He’s out. Something about being detrimental to the team. And Terrell is still talking about Terrell. And the Eagles are tanking, now losing three straight.
Do you think they would have traded the Superbowl appearance last year for something more tangible down the road? I think they would.
Do you mortgage your future for short-term pleasures? For those little things that may not be so beneficial down the road? I think we’re all more guilty of this than we’d like to imagine.