Effective 20 September 2005, all residents of the gulf coast were mandated to leave. This mandated evacuation covers all regions from the Florida Keys to Brownsville, Texas. FEMA and local officials have made it a priority to limit the loss of human life in the event that Rita actually strikes land.
Mayor Ray Nagin of New Orleans has expressed great praise at this latest event, saying, “I think it’s finally time that the federal government got their act together. When Katrina hit, no one had any idea what was going on, and I think it showed. This time we have a strong federal presence and will definitely limit the loss of life. I certainly believe that this is an indication of leadership from the Bush administration.”
R. David Paulison, Acting Under Secretary of FEMA expressed similar praise today, “I’m so glad we got this one right. In spite of the fact that this is the largest mandated evacuation in human history, things are going surprisingly well. So far, only thirty people have died in car accidents as a result of the evacuation; and only a handful of the 8 millions folks are angry. And Carlos over in Commerce (the Secretary of Commerce, Carlos Gutierrez) is so pleased to have another boon to the travel industry. Hotels as far north as Chicago are booked solid.”
Naysayers are having a great time mocking the Bush administration again. Al Gore was quoted yesterday as saying, “this is another indication of global warming and it’s a darn shame that Bush can’t figure it out. If the Bush administration would put half of the money they are using to fund the evacuation, then we can forever blot out these blemishes we call hurricanes. But it just shows that Bush doesn’t care and that he’s just not very smart. And until he figures it out, Mother Nature is going to keep punishing us on his behalf.”
Pat Robertson issued a similar statement: “It is another punishment from God that this hurricane will strike us. And I think it’s odd that it appears this hurricane is dead set on Houston, Texas…the same place where all the evacuees went. It’s like they really did something bad and are getting double punishment.”
The Bush Administration distanced itself from Robertson’s statement; as did Robertson, who later recanted, saying, “You would think I would get tired of that nasty taste of my foot in my mouth…yet I repeatedly put it back there. At any rate, I didn’t say it, but if I did, I’m sorry.”
Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton also announced this in a joint press release:

This, once again, is a heinous display of the racist nature of our current administration. They simple do not care for minorities–especially African Americans. The fact that they are demanding that everyone leave is not fair. So many folks will lose everything they as a result of it, and we fully expect the government to reimburse all of the victims because of this act of racism.

Pundits across the media and talk radio have also questioned the sanity of this evacuation. But in the end, we are shown pictures of screaming children, and we are reminded that this is all for the children. And because of that, we weep and agree with what’s happening. And we even pray that the government helps us more because they can do so much for the kids.
Meteorologists have expressed with exact certitude that the storm will hit within the evacuated areas. This has all but assured President Bush that his decision to evacuate was the right choice: “This will save many many people who have limited abilities to make decisions. And because I’m compassionate and we care for people, this was the only thing we could do. We’re glad that so little life has been lost so far, and we pray that the storm causes little damage. But we know that if it does, the American people will come together as they always have, and rebuild the entire coast in a way that was better than before. And rest assured, the federal government will spare no expense in the rebuilding of our coast.”
Hurricane Rita is exepected to hit land on Saturday. Until then, we’ll just have to wait and see.