What are the root causes of being defensive? Why are people defensive, but more importantly, why I am defensive from time to time?
1. We are unprepared.
Being defensive is partially caused by not planning. Is the website that you designed well thought out? Is the navigation useful? Are the buttons easy to read? Are you creating something for a reason? Are you just creating something to fill space?
If you create something with no overall plan, when someone questions your reasons, the natural responnse is to deny and get upset.
2. We are prideful.
No one likes to have their work criticized–especially if they have put a lot of effort into it. To a certain extent, it’s like you are being personally criticized.
3. We don’t seperate ourself from our work.
When you create something, it is no longer you. So when someone criticizes your work, they’re not necessarily criticizing you. Most likely they are interested in making your work better. (I guess as a result, they will be making you better as well…)
4. We forget there are other people in the world.
This is nearly identical to point #1…Being defensive is primarily a result of poor planning. We didn’t think about this. We didn’t think about that. We fell in love with what we were working on. We worked on the project so long that it became a part of us (see #3). And we assumed the rest of the world would naturally see the goodness of the work.
But they didn’t.
And so we get defensive.